What Obama Means (A Guide to Understanding Obamaish)

Rhonda calls me something of a word Nazi. There have been occasions when I've corrected her usage of words like “Exponential”, “Remoulade”, and “Congress”. I've had debates with several in the past with others on the proper usage of “Irony”. I suppose when confronted by such accusations I have little choice but to accept the charges. All this comes from my belief that words have meaning, and understanding the meaning of the words we hear and use is vital to a comprehensive language.

That's one of the things that frustrates me about our President.

Obama's language sounds a lot like English but the actual meaning of what he says is different from what the rest of us think they mean. That's why I decided to compose a simple guide that we can all use to understand what it is our President means when he speaks. Think of this as a “Obamaish to English” dictionary.

Obamaish: “Failed Policies of George Bush...”

English: “Any idea not my own.” – This comes from the idea that 'Progressive' ideas are actually progressing in a direction we need to go.

Obamaish: “Tax Cuts”

English: “The Current Tax Rate” – This concept extends to any number which might change from year to year, such as entitlements or wages, particularly when applied to unions.

Obamaish: “Progressive”

English: “Big Government” – When Obama uses the word 'progressive' it actually means forward movement or advancement. However, it only applies to the Government.

Obamaish: “Historic”

English: “Something we've wanted to do for decades” – English speaking people may take this to mean some piece of legislation is of value to them, when in reality it's only good for Government.

Obamaish: “Stimulus”

English: “Government Expansion” – As we've clearly seen, the Government of Obama doesn't spend a dime that doesn't come with an expanded, or even better, a totally new Washington bureaucracy.``

Obamaish: “Reform”

English: “Redistribution” – In Washington the only allowable reform involves taking from someone who has, giving it to someone who hasn't, and all they ask for in return is a few minutes of your time on the first Tuesday in November.  Solutions to issues which don't involve making government larger simply have no meaning in Obamaish.

Obamaish: “The Wealthiest Americans”

English: “Anyone Earning a Living” – The elites in Government believe that all wealth in the Country belongs to them, not those who work to earn it.

Obamaish: “Rich”

Engligh: “Not on Government Assistance” – If you aren't dependent on the government for survival then you're rich. See also “The Wealthiest Americans”.

Obamaish: “Comprehensive Reform”
English: “New Government Program” – The only reason Congress is moving so slowly on 'Comprehensive Immigration Reform' is that nobody has come up with a way to use it to expand Government.

Obamese: “Giving”

English: “Letting you keep” – Used most frequently in regard to taxes. When a politician talks about 'Giving' someone a tax cut, what they mean to say is 'Letting you keep what's yours'.

Obamaish: “Let me be perfectly clear...”

English: “Don't listen to what I'm about to say because I don't even believe it myself.” – Used as a preface to more rambling Obamaish.

Obamaish : "Expert"
English: "Someone who agrees with me" -- Also interchangable with "sycophant", "cronie" and "Anyone I owe a favor".

Obamaish: “Deficit Neutral”

English: “Your grand kids will be paying for this” – This is a descriptor often applied to 'Stimulus'. In Obamaish the obligation to pay for Government programs falls upon the current and future generations of Americans. Another English translation for 'Deficit Neutral' is 'Don't worry, we've added tons of new taxes to pay for this.”

Obamaish: “In Good Conscience”

English: “What my Party Demands” – As we can see, speakers of Obamaish equate their ideology and party platform with morality.

Obamaish: “Racist”

English: “Conservative” – Opposition to any Government expansion is an alien concept to many who speak Obamaish. The only motivation they can come up with is a deep seated hatred from those who would benefit from such. See “In Good Conscience”.

Obamaish: “Reduction of Benefits”

English: “Reduction of Spending” – Another phrase used most commonly in regard to entitlements and Government programs. People who speak Obamaish equate a reduction in budget with a reduction in government. All budget cuts, by definition, are passed down to the recipient. Government waste and bloat are sacred to speakers of Obamaish as their native language.

Obamaish: “Draft Memo”

English: “Executive Order” – This phrase is used most commonly in regard to something leaked from the White House.

Obamaish: “(Un)Employment Rate”

English: “Some Random Number” – Politicians like to spout numbers and take credit for those numbers, regardless of the hole from which those numbers are pulled.

Obamaish: “Shipping Jobs Overseas”

English: “Taxing Employers out of Business” – In the mind set of a speaker of Obamaish, the victim is often blamed for the crime. As the burden of new taxes, expanded regulation, and Government overhead drive business out of the country, the responsibility of outsourcing jobs falls on the employer and never on the toxic economic environment. This is something we'll see with greater frequncy as more and more 'reform' comes into effect.

Obamaish: “Recovery”

English: “Bigger Government” – In Obamaish the Government is not just an integral part of the economy, it is the largest and most important part. If the Government is growing, then everything's right in the country.

Obamaish: “Recession”

English: “Taxes are too low.” – When the economy is sluggish, speakers of Obamaish instinctively start writing checks drawn from the bank accounts of Americans. In Obamaish this is often coupled with 'deficit neutral' 'stimulus'.

So now you've got what you need to understand what Barry, the Most Holy, says when speaking. When you hear the phrase “Let me be perfectly clear; I cannot in good conscious return to the failed policies of George Bush by giving the wealthiest Americans a tax cut, many of whom have shipped jobs overseas, especially in these times of recession.” you know he means “Don't pay any attention to what I'm about to say. My own party would turn on me if I allowed anyone who does honest work, in spite of oppressive government regulation and taxes, to keep the money they earn, especially when the government isn't nearly big enough.”

It's of interest to note that there are many English words which have no meaning in Obamaish. Words like 'Efficiency', 'Liberty', 'Responsibility' and 'The Constitution of the United States' are little more than gibberish to these people. When these words are encountered by an Obamaish speaker, they make as much sense as baby coos and burbles.